Marriage Humor

Wife: 'What are you doing?' 

Husband : Nothing. 

Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an
hour.' 

Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.'

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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife : 'Yes or no.' 

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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?' 

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.' 

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!' 

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there
be greater than this one?' 

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Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your
worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' 

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or
troubles.' 

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' 

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Son: ' Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give
up my seat to a lady.' 

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' 

Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' 

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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?' 

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO
LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!' 

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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever . 

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'

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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my
sexy body?' 

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.'